POISON REVIVAL
a taboo path.
this blog post was originally published on october 18, 2024, on the Sanctuary Venus website.
this blog post was republished on substack on march 19, 2025.
content warning: childhood trauma, religious trauma, drug abuse, medical abuse
I have been writing this for almost three months, at this point. Not really sure where to begin or end. But, here we are.
As a child, I was always drawn to poisons, venoms, and toxins. To the taboo. Not even just to indulge, but to observe. Though, often my curiosity and love of the sensual would lead me down that explorative road called immersion. Little did I consciously know, I was born on the so-called Poison Path. No one had proper, kind words for it. Any real love or warmth I felt from my family was always just out-of-reach. It was inconsistent and riddled with physical & emotional neglect, bullying, and then eventual religious grooming via Christianity. No one really stood up for me against other family members, as I was just called Crybaby and overly sensitive. I also heard from every adult relative (mainly women; I come from Matriarchs on both sides) in many moments of frustration with: “we don’t even know what to do with you!” And truth is, I was rejected while still in utero. The hostile environment of my mother’s womb poisoning me through crack-cocaine and stuck maternal + ancestral pain. I soaked up so much poison that I became it. And see, I come from poisoners. But I am the first poison doctor in a few generations, tasked with innovating, gatekeeping, and helping to heal + elevate my lineage overall. But how I got here almost killed me again and again.
If illness often brings one to spiritual awakening and to the ancestral ways, then the poisons, venoms, and toxins came from their hiding spots and called me by name personally. Named me their child, their priestess. Their revivalist. The entirety of my childhood and adolescence wasn’t 100% bad, 100% of the time. I had plenty of beautiful, loving moments. I saw my mother try, in her own poisoned way, to be better for herself and her children. She hasn’t lived up to that, but I personally extend her grace and forgiveness while also keeping our contact low. I’m content with this arrangement, and I have accepted that this is one way that my sidereal cancer chiron plays out. Parental wounds are ultimately gaping holes that never close, even if they heal. Like bellybuttons — the very thing that connected us to our mothers in the first place. A reminder of where we came from, no matter how heartbreaking (this is where I can totally mention the heart-womb axis). My father died when I was 4, and my siblings were 8 (almost 9), and 11. Together, young love and multiple drug addictions swallowed my parents. Their relationship was tumultuous and ended hard. And it was my dad’s maternal grandmother, who passed when I was 6, that formally brought me to the Hoodoo Poison Path in a dream. Though I won’t share details of the initiation, it was the first time that I truly felt seen and accepted by my bloodline. Gratitude for the both of their spirits for steadfastly guiding and supporting me, bringing me to the necessary connections and resources to continue on this journey with strength and courage.
Now, the Poison Path is not new. I did not invent it. No human did. But within Hoodoo-Rootwork-Conjure, I have been tasked with reviving this sacred science and tending to these spirits at the highest level. Why, though? Well, there are several reasons. One of the main ones is the simple fact that most Poison Path knowledge is Eurocentric. You do not see the Black poisoners discussing The Path. This is due to ancestral trauma surrounding enslavement, lies, liberation, and persecution. Another reason for secrecy is in keeping the occult, occult. And finally, you do not see the Black poisoners discussing The Path because most are consciously unaware of this lineage that they hold, and many poison elders have since transitioned to the ancestral realm. Passing on parts of this knowledge is one of my duties this lifetime, and something that I am pleased to do. I also enjoy simply being a witness to the journey of other poisoners. I do not own this knowledge, nor do I decide who is and isn’t a poisoner (that’s for the poisons to decide). But when the Hoodoo Poison Path is mentioned, know and speak my name. Know and speak what I have done and currently doing in honor of the poisons and the innovation of this tradition. They have made themselves proudly known, coming out of the shadows because humanity is in dire need of their medicine. It’s always going to be bigger than me, but that doesn’t mean I’m useless or purposeless. I’m just a 9H sun atmakaraka and I temper my ego through gratitude, detachment, and a sprinkle of that damn poisonous altruism. Humility doesn’t live here, though. [And actually, I am in the process of writing about humility and humbleness as poisons and what this even means contextually.] However, even I underestimated just how entrenched some of us are in the very things that have gotten us to this point.
Jourdan circa one fall 2021 evening, on her “Poison Porch,” with a young angel’s trumpet (Brugmansia supernova).
The original way I went about teaching about poisons, venoms, and toxins, was hopeful to say the least. And since hope isn’t delusional, I was immediately able to tell that my initial approach wasn’t beneficial to me or my students. And I quickly ended that. To be transparent: there were multiple, unrelated incidents where students were harming other students. UNRELATED INCIDENTS!!! Isn’t that ridiculous?? This was in violation of the rules I had laid down that each person agreed to. And so, I had to close the Portals of Poison as it was. I do not regret any of it, and several people made loving connections with their fellow poisoners. It wasn’t all for naught. I am currently working on educational material via the SRRL. blog-zine, my YouTube channel, books, self-paced courses, the occasional workshop, and exclusive apprenticeships. What I am teaching is not just the Poison Path, and actually that’s only a small fraction. I mainly teach energy medicine, and will eventually spend the majority of my teaching time leading postgraduate esthetics trainings. All in due time, but I will always teach about a variety of topics that have to do with truly holistic healing & medicine. For the poison/venom/toxin education, these will be available to poisoners and non-poisoners, but I will have select resources available only to those that I know for sure are fellow poisoners and/or fellow Black mystics. I am incredibly strict about this and cannot be guilted, tricked, or bullied into sharing mysteries with the uninitiated or undeserving. Seriously, ask about me. My no is no and my yes is choosy. There is a reason why cultural gatekeepers are chosen. Occult is hidden knowledge, not “out in the open for every single person to be aware of” knowledge. If we are to ever decolonize, how can we achieve that with constant usurpation? With constant allowances? Venus is selective, and as a venusian…you can’t sit with us. Not sorry. It’s for your own safety and for the highest good of everyone. Trying to force your way into something you ain’t got no business dealing with is why so many people run from the occult SCREAMING, DENOUNCING, and CONDEMNING. Having a solid foundational understanding of the poisons in general is crucial to anyone. We all come into contact with poison/venom/toxin spirits DAILY. Oftentimes we are inundated with them at an alarming rate, and our body-mind-spirit cannot properly process quick enough. Think of constant exposure to pesticides, subliminal messaging that pushes violent propaganda, and the like. We also interact with more pleasant poisons daily. Joy is a poison spirit, too. But the point is that engaging with poisons is not something strictly relegated to poisoners.
The Crooked Path. It’s already niche. Even within the occult. Perhaps that’s part of the allure. But I can assure you, Dear Reader, this path is no more special or important than others. And because poisons have a home in every lineage, it’s unnecessarily devisive to even come to that conclusion. Even in modern/western medicine, there are poison doctors — pharmacists, toxicologists, infectious disease specialists, oncologists, and a few other specialties. Despite it being a rare gift, poisoners are everywhere. And though the poisons, venoms, and toxins are speciality enough on their own, each poisoner further specializes based off of their own spirit, lineages, and karmic duties. For me, the more I doubted my own destiny and sabotaged myself, the deeper the poison was driven into me.
I became incredibly sick for years, spending time in and out of the hospital. A lifetime of undernurtured spiritual gifts, fear, and trauma completely unraveled with the birth of my second child (the birth of my firstborn started to crack me open like a dinosaur egg). It’s been almost a decade since our lives hung in the balance (and plenty more years since my extremely traumatic childhood/adolescence). Almost a decade since I was thrust into the darkest night of my soul. There, I came face-to-face with my ancestors, spirit guides, lineage deities/divinities, etc. But most importantly, I came face-to-face with myself. Shadow work is mirror work is poison work. I am aware of what I can actually heal completely and what will need to be managed for the rest of this lifetime. My spiritual court, plus various personal experiences, have instilled in me the true meaning of hygiene and why ableism is one of the most dangerous poisons to humanity. While “decolonial” and “decolonize” are largely buzzwords these days, I stay true to my purpose of helping to remove the poison of colonization from this world and inspiring others to do the same. My affinities place me at the many-pronged crossroads of beauty, pleasure, art, the occult, and body-mind-spirit hygiene. This is not the place where I go in-depth about how exactly I got here. But know that I am confidently where I am supposed to be.
So the million-dollar question is: does Jourdan/Skin Priestess initiate people into the Hoodoo Poison Path? What about other Poison Path lineages? Yes, I do. But it happens when it happens and it’s not something you can buy your way into (though exchange is necessary, of course). I enjoy being a witness to the deaths & rebirths in a person’s life. I am obedient to my own path, showing up authentically and that allows for me to do right by myself and others. While I’m honored by inquiries, initiations happen when they happen and not a moment before. Besides, initiation is just the beginning…
peace & good juju,
Jourdan, Two-Headed Poison Glamour Doctor & Priestess